Mixed media on wood, 6″x6″
Today is Friday, around noon. After a fair amount of hemming and hawing and changing my mind and then changing it back, I’ve decided to work at home today. So, I have the WHOLE day in front of me with just my broken laptop, my flaky internet and my messy house to distract me.
Speaking of messy houses, I have one.
I’m wondering if you, dear reader, ALSO have difficulty with houseworky types of things?
Would you be willing to answer a few questions? If so, here you go (you can answer in the comments section, or at this Monkey Business Survey).
1. If folding laundry on the couch in the middle of the house, and then leaving it there for a day or so until you decide it’s time to take upstairs to the bedroom, would you hide your underwear underneath a folded t-shirt so as to not gross out your teenaged son?
a) Yes, that is exactly what I would do.
b) No, I would hide it inside my sweat pants.
c) Duh, I would put everything away immediately so as not to have that problem.
2. When sweeping the kitchen floor, would you sweep up all the spilled catfood, bits of onion, dustballs, dirt and rubber bands and put the whole mess into the compost bin?
a) Yes, that is exactly what I would do.
b) No, I would dump it in the recycle bin.
c) Duh, I would get my hands dirty, separate out the food and non-food items, and put them in their proper places.
3. When taking a bath while dinner is cooking (your husband cooks all meals), would you turn off all the lights so you don’t need to actually see your massively unshaven legs?
a) Yes, that is exactly what I would do.
b) No, I kind of like the look of furry calves.
c) Duh, I would just shave my legs.
4. Imagine your husband is out of town on business and you are “cooking” dinner for your teenaged son. The fire alarm goes off. Would you grab your camera and make a video of your son helplessly trying to deal with it?
a) Yes, that is exactly what I would do.
b) No, I would take the video and then upload it to my blog.
c) Oh. my. god.
* * * * * *
Thank you for your answers to these questions! I really appreciate it!
Yes I do have issues… going to take your survey right now!
Question 1:
d) Underwear is folded into a pair of jeans so that no one even knows it exists in the pile. I do the same thing with my clothes when I had to get undressed at a massage.
Question 2:
d) Sweep it toward the door and see what I could get out through the sliding glass door. What’s left just might get swept under the rug in front of the sink.
Question 3:
d) Wait.. your husband cooks???? I still baffled by those circumstances. What’s that like? Is it edible? But back to the question… lights off so that I wouldn’t have to see everything in the bathroom that should be cleaned.
Question 4:
d) Fall on floor laughing hysterically.
Ha! Love your “D” answers!
Yes, my husband is a wonderful cook. I am truly lucky.
I can’t believe it, but I am a “Duh” responder, right up until that last question which I would answer by videotaping it and uploading to my blog. heh heh heh
We are very complicated, humans.
1. I carry the laundry basket upstairs and dump it in the corner of the bedroom. From there it’s every man for himself as far as finding a matching pair of socks or the really comfy unders. It rarely makes it into the drawers any more.
2. Sweep it either out the back door or under the fridge. It’s always filthy under a fridge so no one’s appalled when you pull the fridge out and there’s enough stuff to fill a trash can.
3. I would use lots of bubbles so that I couldn’t see my belly, my thighs, etc. Hairy legs are the least of my problems.
4. I would totally take a video and put it on my blog. Unfortunately when the crumbs in the bottom of the toaster oven caught fire last week, I was too freaked to grab the camera. It’s still sitting out on the patio table…
thank you (all) for the best laugh i’ve had all day!!!
I must be tempted by wine and chocolate to “consider” doing any housework. If my feet are sticking to the kitchen floor, I might sweep and give it a lick and a promise… or, put on slippers. My husband does the laundry and cooking. Yes, I am keeping him. Legs…shave? Is it summer? Am I going to wear shorts in public? Cooking? Fire? I have done that. I think that’s when my husband decided to cook all the time. If he goes out of town, there are leftovers, or lovely neighbors! Hang in there Carla, you’ll get it right!
1. “fold” … WHAT? i’m more of a ‘baller-up’ of laundry straight from the dryer. that way .. it all ‘blends’. including the underoos.
2. i’d just ‘add water’ and make SOUP! kitchen floor’s clean and dinner’s done at the same time!
3. one of the wonderous things about getting ‘older’ is that you can no longer SEE that far .. and your really good friends are about your age and they can’t see either! and who gives a crap about what pretty 20-somethings think about what ‘the older generation’ looks like.
4. happens all the time! i just DANCE!
Haha, these made me laugh! I couldn’t exactly answer them though. Here’s why, if you ever have time to read this: 1). We live in a small apartment. The husband does the laundry and dumps it on the bed. (But if I had a teenage son, I’d probably put it all away immediately on some days if I had the energy, or hide them under something!) 2) Sadly, we don’t have a compost bin at this time in our lives. 3) I cook, but he doesn’t care about my unshaven legs. However I’ll go as long as possible without shaving before it is just too hot to wear pants. 🙂 4) I totally would! Maybe we think alike a little because one year I went to find a safe distance from the wildfires near our house one summer so I could video them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcsU06wocYQ
P.S. That bunny ROCKS.
hahaha!rofl!
The laundry stays in the basket unless I need to wear it; I have no idea when I last shaved my legs – I wear trousers instead; and I make sure there is nothing on the floor that the cats can play with in the middle of the night. Fortunately I do not have a teenage son – my daughter did ask me to wear a paper bag if we went out together – but if I had one, I would definitely video it for Youtube., and to show the grand-kids.
Lastly, I now live by myself; I’m old enough to be doing it disgracefully and eccentrically, and loving it, and if it embarrasses anyone else, that’s their problem not mine!
OMG… I feel so much better about myself now. I have gotten into the habit of doing a “half fold” jobby as I take the stuff out of the dryer. Tshirts, jeans, undies, whatever, are just kinda folded in half and layered in the basket in any order. This means people’s stuff isn’t all together but at least it is not balled up to become wrinkled. Sometimes I just leave it like this in the dining room. If I get around to actually folding it, I just leave it on the dining table like a buffet of clean clothes–even for a week or so. Maybe longer if I’m out of town.
But, I’ll tell you that I’m pretty crazy about having shaved legs all the time. That’s just gross, Carla.
HAHAHAHAHA!
Well, you have those sleek runner’s legs. Mine are white and pasty and a little chubby to boot. Why show them?
And if they’re not being shown, why shave?
xo
PS My son Wes is VERY sweet.
changed my mind, think i would leave underwear out for son to find-even buy some slutty ones that i wouldn’t even wear to leave out in hopes that he would finally move OUT… 🙂
1. You’re a step ahead of me on the laundry front. My laundry just languishes in the dryer and every day I pull my daily outfit from the dryer until there’s nothing left but a couple socks I have to put away.
2. The whole mess goes right into the garbage! No sorting necessary!
3. I’m going with candlelight on this one. One, it’s relaxing. And two, the soft light glinting off my leg hair is actually kinda pretty. . .
4. Oh, hell yes! Except I don’t have a teenage son and I only seem to burn things at around 2am so it’s lots of fans and scurrying around to get the stupid thing to shut off.
I hide everything because my mother in law picks through it. She insists I iron my husband’s sox. I taught him to cook sour kraut when I know she is coming so she will think the sewer is backed up.
HA! HAHAHAHAHAHhahahhahahaha*
Ha!!! Growing up we used to call the smoke detector the “dinner bell”… love it!
xo
Kristin
p.s. my answer is “a”… It seems we have the same housework beliefs, which is why I sit here now in front of the laptop instead of wrangling the dust bunnies swirling at my feet! ha! (I would have answered on the survey site, but thought that if I were “101” that would just be cruel)
In my family, I am considered the messy housekeeper. With this list, I find I fit the anal category. Isn’t there a happy medium? My laundry gets folded and put away immediately but I only do laundry every 3 weeks.
I shave my legs about once a month but am practically hairless so it just doesn’t matter much.
I sweep the floor on occasion when I see all that dirt and hair and fluff from the dogs and the outdoors but I don’t see very well so it has to build up a bit. However, the junk goes straight into the trash. We don’t compost as our goats eat all the non-meat scraps.
And last, I do the cooking except when my husband wants to eat really late and that’s when the alarm might go off but it doesn’t. Instead I get up in the morning to a horrible, greasy, splattered stove…. but he put his plate in the dishwasher and considers himself a good boy for doing that!
This is too funny! You got me pegged at question one! (and I thought I was the only one)
1. Our clean laundry stays unfolded on the couch for days (the laundry basket is usually sitting on the floor next to the coffee table full of clean clothes already) Until date night, of course, when the babysitter comes over. Then we pile it up in the laundry basket and stash it, overflowing, on top of the dryer until the next day when my son says: “I need socks! Where’s the laundry basket?” I actually separate all the underwear out and pile them on the coffee table because we need that most and I hate to dig for it.
2. Whatever I sweep up goes in the trash. I don’t even separate out the tiny Legos that my son neglects to pick up (no matter how many times I ask.)
3. My husband cooks too. But I actually shave. and usually nick them up. (and then use my daughter’s Barbie band-aides.)
4. I burn everything. My typical response is “Oh, Crap!” said out-loud for all to hear. It’s gotten so bad that the other day my seven year old daughter drop something in the car and blurted out “Oh Crap!” My husband immediately turn to me and gave me the “nasty eye.” (Whoops.)
Our last house the fire alarm was right next to the kitchen and constantly went off. This house we purposely located it on the other side of the family room as not to have that problem.
Note to self: we’re about to move, I better check the location of the fire alarm before I sign the lease!
Hide the bra…yes and the grannie panties! I’ve a new decorating style for my guest bedroom. I decorate the bed with clean laundry. Folding straight from the dryer is over-rated, and how can you iron wrinkles out if you don’t make the wrinkles first?
One would have to walk further to the compost bin, so just gather it all and put it in the garbage can. All those items need to get along and they’ll fit in real well with the rest of the garbage. Sometimes being green can go overboard!
Shaving your legs….one way to stretch the budget is to let the hair get at least 1/2″ long before shaving. There is also self gratification when one sees all that has been gathered in one swipe of the razor!
Have a great day. Keep drawing — I love your silliness!
1: Throw clean clothes n a pile. Sprinkle with socks, mix well. When it is time to dress, think of it as an easter egg hunt for a suitable outfit. Or, wear a serendipitously fashionable outfit by dressing in the dark. The fun never ends at L’s House of Haut Couture.
2:Yep, that’s what I’d do
3: I take off my glasses. I look awesome.
4: Finally, a really good reason to start a blog of my own!
Also, years ago I painted a lovely decorative piece in my mothers kitchen, over the stove. Birds and flowers and hearts and a lovely riboon.
“What would be a suitable sentiment to write on this banner?” I asked
“911” says Father, dryly.
Mom didnt speak to him for days.
True story. Really.
PS I have a house keeper. I adore him. AND he irons.
Jealous much?
Oh, such a good laugh!
1) Hide it anywhere in the pile – doesn’t matter where.
2) Yep – all in the bin together.
3) Lights out for sure, that way I can’t see anything that needs doing.
4) Laugh like mad – that’s what I did.
Sorry, but I can’t participate in a survey that assumes my husband would actually cook something.
Currently have two bags of folded laundry from two sets of laundry sitting in my bedroom where the cats can’t get at it.
Boyfriend still laughing at me for taking a picture of a mouse running down the wall at the cottage. What did he expect me to do, kill it with my bare hands?
Ha!!