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Thank you for all of your questions in response to yesterday’s post, and keep them coming! Here’s one I feel I need to address RIGHT AWAY!!

Q:

There is always the question of creative flow…how to achieve it, maintain it and bring joy to it. You are a wonderful practitioner of Creative Flow and have discovered playful tools to initiate, maintain and nurture it. For many though it seems like a carefully hidden secret…

A:

Oh, no.

I’m so sorry if I’ve given the impression that all is just hunky dorrie all the time here at CarlaSonheimLand… it’s not! Not at all! Seriously… Just ask my husband.

I am NOT a Wonderful Practitioner of Creative Flow.

In reality, I’m more of a

Debilitated User of Depression Glow, or a

Neurotic Doer of Screwed-upt-ness — Doh!

😀

On this blog I have tried to spare you from my whiny, ungrateful, depressed self — it’s so boring! — but in doing so I’m afraid I’ve given the impression that all is well for me, all the time.

Not true!

As an example, here is how the first THREE DAYS of this work week played out:

• Wake up to alarm or cat alarm.
• Shovel down food — we’re late!
• Run back upstairs to take the depression medication.
• Drive Wes to school.
• Have conversation with myself about whether to get a croissant today. (“Yes” = small detour. “No” = traffic on bridge. It’s not usually a very difficult choice.)
• Drive to work, wondering why I keep gaining weight.
• Park. (“Free” on the street of broken dreams*? or $7 bucks in the lot under the freeway? Which?)
• Walk to office. “Yay, what a wonderful place to work!” And then, “Oh, I have so much to do!”
• Spend all morning trying to think up something to write for a guest blog post.
• Which goes live next Thursday.
• And one of six I need to do.
• By Thursday.
• Stop intermittently and try to calm myself by drawing.
• Switch back and forth from the computer to the drawing, focusing on neither enough to finish anything satisfactorily.
• Lunch!
• Repeat morning flip-flopping until about 6pm.
• Marvel at how little I got done.
• Wonder if I’ll ever draw anything I like, ever again.
• Or if I’ll ever paint again.
• Pick up Wes from school/drama practice.
• Home, dinner, TV, bed.

In short, most days I struggle with time management issues, inertia, procrastination, and making focused time to draw or paint. And I do have depression issues which effectively cut out large parts of my productive time.

But yes, on good days I’ve managed to figure out a few tricks and tools to enjoy the flow of it all.

And it often involves just getting fed up with all of the above “clutter” and letting myself “putter” for a day, doing nothing at all, and then “BAM” I’m suddenly immersed in a painting or project that takes me to that wonderful, flowing place.

But these are rare days.

* We found “free” parking on a street about 1/2 mile from our office. The only problem is, we got broken into and, between the stolen trumpet and the broken window glass, it cost over $1,000. Now we feel we need to park there for the next two years to make up for it!