I have been “diving” into my old journals lately, looking for anything fun or helpful in a sea of nonsense and complaints.
Here are some things I found that you might like (I hope you like it. If you do, please comment!):
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So, it’s Friday. Slow day for the internet. Slow day for email, and usually a slow day for work. Not today. Today it’s going to be a fast day for work, a fast day for email, and a fast day for the internet.
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I’ve found my identity in being creative with art and teaching. It’s something I’m good at, for a variety of reasons. I think I come from a creative family. I think I have the right kind of personality, and people have supported it in me.
Being creative in a law office* is actually a valuable tool, of course. But being creative in a law office without also being super smart was kind of a problem.
Now I can be creative and only kind of smart.
*My first job out of college was in a law office.
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Yesterday a woman on the bus said, “They say I’m retarded.” Then, “Some days I am, and some days I’m not.”
Bless her… like all of us!
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I think I’m a bit crazy today. My mind is flying all over the place, but also stuck in the mud… my feet are stuck to the ground and my mind wants to flutter away but is also being tethered to the ground by the mud. Or the IDEA of mud. (I supposed it’s just the idea of mud that can tie down a brain, since brains are all about ideas and stuff.)
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I was thinking about the answer to “Why creativity?” last night and might have even written down some useful thoughts. I realized that I can’t speak for anyone other than myself of why it’s important, but for me, it’s what makes life palatable. An overstatement, perhaps. BUT… things change, friends move, children grow up, and in the end you just have you and your creative spirit to hash it all out.
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I suppose I really need to get going on whatever it is I need to get going on.
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Creativity requires a faith of sorts… faith that a solution will come to you.
You do your part: Put your time in, take risks, sit patiently (or impatiently)… and you even have a bit of doubt in there somewhere… but in the end creativity moves through you…
1. Make it fun, or at least not painful.
2. Accept where you are.
3. Remember, there is no “there.”
4. Go up those hills.
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I wrote down what my son Wes, when he was in high school, said to me one morning on the drive to school:
“It’s so annoying… this gray-haired, cheerful person who doesn’t know anything….”
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Denying your creativity is like driving with a flat tire: you can get where you’re going, but how much smoother, faster, and more enjoyable the ride would be if all four tires were inflated!
Not a bad soundbite for a know-nothing. 🙂
That’s it for now! I have more where that came from, if you’d like to read it.
Have a wonderful day, everyone!
carlasonheim.wordpress.com 
what a wonderful start to the day, thank you. Gaye
This came in at the very second I felt that I simply can’t do anything today, especially creative. There is a lot of negative stuff, out of my control, making me sad, drained and lethargic.
Then I saw your ‘elephant’ and that made me smile. Your thoughts made a connection with me. My recent, doodle-type journal paintings do not resonate with me and I had a surge of disappointment that they are not more than they are. I fail to see my creativity as something interesting and unique, I’m making it hard work. Need to reset now!
I love your ‘orange stone jewels’, makes me feel happy and excited, inspired to make something today. Your portrait is wonderful and I have a secret desire to fill a little book with quirky portraits and, for some reason, don’t. Really, I could try this and not limit myself.
Would love to have taken Lynn’s course Words and the one with Cat? Just not possible at the moment.
Thank you for all the inspiration you send to my inbox, means a lot.
Wishing you a great week.
I like the girl and elephant you posted. Also the story of your son’s comment. It’s a good idea to look back. It helps you realize how well you drew and painted, even far back.
CARLA: you are a DELIGHT!
Your answer about “Why creativity” really struck me today about things changing and I have been so stuck in the mud for a few months now. Every once in a while there is a spark – I did a terrific bird from a squiggle and it sits where I can look at it and smile. You always make me smile!
I am so impressed with people who can actually put words in their journals. I think these things, but for some reason am still not confident in putting them down, or I think it’s vanity or silly or something for me to write. My husband was a writer and he was very talented and we always said he wrote (and photographed) and I was the “art one.” Somehow I haven’t been able to combine the two.
But you know what – that’s OK. You remind me that I have to stop being so hard on myself.
Thank you.
maybe i have the wrong vibe, but it sounds like you are judging yourself. And letting the comments of a teenager (let’s be realistic, teenagers are insane and cruel and self centred except once in a while) trouble you. I see tremendous energy and life and love and joy in your art and in your outreaching through the classes you offer. These are gifts for yourself and you choose to share those, making the gifts even larger and more of a blessing. With all that in mind, you are allowed to get tired or a bit less sparkly. Resting and not pushing are good things to do, to balance all the outflow. Good paintings or sculptures have places where the eye can rest and reflect, this is a good thing to have as a person as well. As I get older, I have to find ways to keep the things that are important to me but recognize that it might look different. That means I can’t do it all, and some things have to be left behind. That’s OK, it is part of ongoing-ness. It is good to reconnect with your past journals, but search for the good bits, the parts that support you, not the questions that make you backpeddle. You already have the answers.
Oh no, Laureen! You did misunderstand… 😀 … I thought my teenage son’s comment funny… so sorry it didn’t “read” that way! I “know” that I’m not a “know-nothing.” 😀 ;D
It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who has doubts about being creative and where to go with it. Thanks Carla. I appreciate you being REAL. xo
I was thinking about why I love receiving your emails. What speaks to me is your art from the heart, made of blobs, spilled ink and paving cracks. The way you capture your imagination and transform random shapes and develop them into actual characters. The way you use colour and line. Your enthusiasm, creativity and imagination. The ‘orange stone jewel’ painting is a beautiful abstract that has a lot of depth and meaning hidden within it.
But, what I’m thinking of right now, if I can make sense of my thoughts, is that you are honest with your feelings and don’t hide them from us. If only you knew how refreshing and helpful it is to have someone actually comment on a day that is less than perfect. Thank you for being an inspiration. Not just with art, not only with helping us accept our imperfect scribbles as something wonderful. But also by helping me face my imperfect life and all its many messes as it is, often chaos, and know that I can still be able to use all this to create and focus on something special within and bring it to the surface. That is huge to me.
Often, I am reluctant to comment on blog posts because not everyone allows other people to be who they are, or allows them to express what might not be so perfect that day. As Jill Kuhn says, I appreciate you being REAL. Gosh it’s so refreshing not to have to say that everything is great all the time.
Thank you for this and all of your posts that speak to my heart each week. People like you, keep people like me going in times of difficulty.
Jaded, how eloquent you are! Beautifully said
Thank you for this, Jaded!
Timely and generous! Thank you, Carla. I love the honesty of teen-aged sons!!
Ah these are lovely! You have such wisdom and that boy will figure it out soon enough!
Love more of where that came from….:-) x
So happy to read your reflections…this morning they are very useful for my heart! Have a good day!
Carla, that is a very uplifting post this morning! Yes, please more! Thanks!
carla,
you don’t know how much influence you have on my feelings!
it is good to know that other people are also searching.
i have a period of mud (to much questions without an answer).You pull me trough it. My (little) creativity, found thanks to your blog,books and golden ideas, helps me to keep going on to try to see ‘things of life’ a little better.
thank you for being so real !
but i sometimes have a dream : if you should come once to little belgium … i would be so happy to meet you really real!!;)
I am so with you, girl! Great post!
Carla: Loved this post. I copied it just to be able to read it a couple of times more. It’s fun to look back at journals and find bits of wisdom you’ve forgotten! Thanks for sharing yours. Now I’m inspired to go find mine….the wisdom must be there some place.:)
OH this is full of great insights! I think they are brilliant and deserve to be out in the open and not hidden in your journal… they kind of make me want to make posters of your fabulous words…. and hang them everywhere…
Your son is too much! It’s amazing how much smarter my mother has gotten over the years. 😉
Would love to see more of these old journal entries! Full of wisdom and inspiration. I found this helped my frustrated creative self accept where I am right now. That’s it’s okay that I’m not up to doing much creative stuff right now, just do what I’m able and to have faith that the energy to do more will come as I feel better. Thanks!
I like this concept of Journal Diving, Going Back In. Allows me to be more introspective. I enjoyed going back into my journal and “see” what I was thinking then with a fresh mind. It wow’s me, the stuff I wrote. Thanks for the share, Carla.