Pig, watercolor and pencil on hot press watercolor paper. (Click to enlarge)
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This morning I read Dar Hosta’s 52 Mondays Blog where she talks about how small questions can make big changes in our lives. (It’s a great post, read it here!)
One of the questions asked was, “What are you happy about?” which, in my hurried reading, became, “What makes you happy?” and then, “What makes you unhappy?”
The one answer that kept popping up to that last question was “Comparing myself to others.”
The internet is great for inspiration but can be really dangerous for those of us prone to seeing glimpses of what others are doing and then feeling totally lacking. (And, it’s true — there is always someone better, and more successful! Which, of course, is life, and we all learn that lesson each day…nothing new here!)
However, there are tangible things I can do that can minimize this tendency to compare myself to others, which just makes me unhappy.
One easy thing I can do is turn away from the computer and create something new (which I did this morning — see the pig, above).
Does anyone else have this Comparison Problem? What is one small thing you can do today to help minimize this tendency, which is probably making you unhappy, too?
carlasonheim.wordpress.com 
All the time. My head says, “oh I could do that” then I tell myself, “but you didn’t, so get back to work!”
Can you believe it? After six long months of hard slog I am finally taking a few days of rest. My house is a disaster and I have zero desire to do anything as I try to let my body find it’s way back from exhaustion. This morning I wrote an email to a friend saying: “I need a little table, and a sketchbook, and a little watercolour set and
some nice pens and I need to be able to sit there amidst the total chaos
that is this poor little abode of mine and I need to do some imaginary
creatures a la Carla Sonheim and I need to do a very lot of them and then
maybe I will feel a little better… especially if I go out and get some
Roobois tea and some chocolate which, based on the fact that the (as yet
unpacked) van is outside, is a distinct possibility.” I haven’t done it yet, I still keep falling asleep all over the place and I need to make some space in my tiny house to put up the tv table, but I knew that doing the above would make me happy…
And then I opened my facebook page and read your post! Thanks for being my inspiration and way out of the mire!
Yes, the comparison tendency always looms, but I don’t let it get me down most of the time. (And why should you of all people give in to it, Carla? Your art is different to others’, but by no means inferior, and I think in your heart of hearts you know this.) The small thing I did today to boost my self-esteem was to get on with a mosaic I am making on a seven square metre wall on my terrace. Very exhausting, but also very fulfilling. Here’s to happiness!
Oh, I don’t give in most of the time! I just have found myself in a bit of a slump lately in this way…and Dar’s post just made me want to address the issue a little!
Boy are you right about comparing your own work with others. It often makes me feel inadequate and that means that sometimes I don’t even get started. As well, many of my pieces don’t get finished simply because something didn’t go exactly the way I wanted (WAY TOO MUCH NEED FOR CONTROL going on here!). I’ll read Dar Hosta’s blog; I’ve definitely got to work on this.
It’s not all doom and gloom though. I finished a great chicken this afternoon and I may even hang it.
This comparison tendency happens to me when I go see an exhibit of art quilts (my type of art). I recently finished a few older pieces to enter into a small works show. I’m not as crazy about them as I was when they were started (years ago) and after seeing a recent art quilt exhibit, decided not to enter them because I realized I didn’t want my name on them! They aren’t “terrible” pieces, but I’m not happy/proud of the results.
What I’m doing to conteract the comparison trap AND to be happy with my art is putting more thought into what I think is “artistic” and setting myself up to “Make Art I Love and that Intrigues Me” instead of just jumping in and hoping I end up with something I love. Art Quilts can have hundreds of hours in them and it’s frustrating to not love the end result. (I’m also going to just get rid of some of the unfinished projects in my studio – they’ve served their purpose!)
Lori,
As a long time knitter I feel the same way; I am now trying to choose projects carefully. So much time is spent in knitting and it is more the journey sometimes but then sometimes the finished project is a bummer…
I have had plenty of occasions when I had to shut the computer off to find the peace to create. There is a special place within that we go to make the things we feel good about and that takes turning our backs on other peoples art.
All of the previous comments resonate with me. Just reading your blog, Carla, and reading all the other comments makes me happy. It makes me happy because I see that many others feel exactly the same way, I realize I’m not alone, and I understand this as a part of our human condition as we try to work as artists. I know none of you personally but still feel part of a wide community of artists. Yep, that makes me happy.
I do the same thing. I peruse the web and when I’m done I don’t do a thing because I get discourages. Sometimes I want to throw something at my computer!
I definitely have that fear or unhappiness. I sometimes think I can be an artist than when I check out all the blogs and websites, I loose interest in creating. alena
I have a similar problem with other artists. I remember reading Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy and unable to finish because as an inspiring writer it blew me away his power and genius overwhelmed me. Over the weekend, I wrote a short review of a book a bought a long time ago. Sarah Simblet’s Botany for the Artist. Talk about genius she is my idol! To this day I have not looked at every page. I am between savoring the paintings and sketches and being intimidated.
I get through this awe by trying to learn a tiny something from the artist and mastering it. It is hard though. As a beginner in drawing I am starting to experiment with different techniques and using different mediums. Somedays it is just learning one little stroke…
I wonder if comparison is found more in the female artist.
It is sometimes a good thing to compare myself to others, though the only useful way I have yet to manage this is through comparing myself to myself.
Another thing that has really helped me compare in a healthy way is to remember how I feel when I tap into that whatever it is that is only ME making art. I can attempt to use another artist’s instructions, I can make something in the style of someone else, and I can, as you’ve said, simply STOP when comparing is leaving me feeling less than and oh so ridiculous…
It is a marvelous thing, all the inspiration that is out there Now. We are able to SEE so much more than we ever could. Sometimes I remember that. I remember when I couldn’t Google someone or go onto Amazon to get a look at someone’s art.
I try to keep in mind that the fact that I am seeing SO MUCH is BEcause I have found other artists, have BEgun hanging out online with them, and oftentimes making up BEautiful stories in my little head wherein I BEcome the lesser and definitively lamer. When I catch myself I say, “Darling Currie, don’t you know I love you just the way YOU are?!”
That usually sets me back on track again…
Yeah, I know that feeling so well. Lacking. Doubting. Fearing. Sometimes loosing myself to and into this unhealthy energy.
Happiness.
Comes from the most unexpected places. A smile from a total stranger. The offer of a ride so I do not need to use the bus. Creating. Sometimes even breathing slowly helps. Music – a massive happy-hormone, Silly helped a lot, too. Even though: creating with Sonnenfeldt – tell me about someone better … but yet: there is love and sisterhood and compassion, that makes it so much fun. Happy. Writing. Makes me happy. And that is what I will be working on again this month – so – there! You see it?The light at the end of the tunnel.
Your post absolutely resonates with me… Unfortunately, I’m much too good at that comparison thing… ;-(
I just thought that you should know that until I found ‘drawing lab’ I wanted to be like William Kentridge, one of South Africa’s most celebrated and gifted artist. Nothing less would make me happy and given that I can hardly draw this was such an unattainable goal that it makes me a bit sick thinking of it now. Nothing I did was good enough because it always fell short of the ultimate. But then I found Drawing Lab and I thought, Hey this looks like so much fun and if this inspires me this much (even more than Kentridge.!) then surely this way of working can be a vehicle of inspiration for me too. You saved me from myself and I will be eternally grateful and inspired! Thank you!